If you’ve read my previous posts – which you haven’t, because I’ve seen my stats! – you know that I am a book reviewer for The Romance Reviews. But I’m here to try something a bit different.
Why (you might ask, if you were reading this)? Because I’m almost entirely certain that I’m having a mid-life crisis.
All my life, I wanted to be an author, writing (and hiding) volumes of short fiction and poetry and, eventually, receiving a B.A. in English Literature. But along the way, I got a little lost…or a lot afraid.
Whether I was scared of rejection or becoming a cat lady who couldn’t pay her rent, I ended up taking the road most traveled.
Now, I’m a nonprofit manager with an M.A. in Public Administration – a life that I’ve often enjoyed, though I always knew it was the path of least resistance.
One year ago, I was offered an opportunity to return to my hometown for a nonprofit position that sounded like a dream come true – and it’s been a nightmare ever since.
I’m terrified to look like a failure – afraid that quitting or getting fired will disappoint everyone who believed in me – and afraid to admit that this isn’t really who I am.
I’ve decided to give myself the best gift I can – a chance to feel authentic.
Like most people, I’ve made a hundred resolutions in the past to alter my path and I’ve always allowed “life to get in the way.” That was my fault and changing it is my responsibility.
I’m calling this my “Year of Living Literarily” because it reminded me of “The Year of Living Dangerously” – and because it wasn’t taken.
If, at the end of this year, I haven’t honored these commitments, I will have failed myself and, pen name or not, I will know it – and so will anyone who happens upon this blog.
With that in mind, I am going to commit myself to a series of writing challenges and document them in the hope that making a public commitment will keep me strong.
I will be posting to this blog at least weekly to discuss challenges I’ve undertaken and to document my progress.
If someone happens to read this, please comment, tweet at me or email me email@example.com.
I hope I can meet some other people who feel like I do – perhaps we can create a little a support group for super-secret writers and scribbling weirdos – because we are definitely not alone in this!